Steve’s Blog

No mere mortal could see more than a fraction of the vast 2007 Consumer Electronics Show, so we don’t pretend that this is a definitive list. But here are our choices for the 2007 CES Wootable Awards, with an assist from a few loyal Wooter correspondents:  

Worst Product Demo
Mom, it’s broken. Mom, it’s broken. Mom! It’s broken!

Most Unwarranted Self-Confidence
Label aside, we saw nothing to make us believe that this egg-shaped thing is, in fact, awesome.

Dumbest Typo
It’s OK if you don’t know how to spell “vacuum” off the top of your head. But if you’re making signage for the largest electronics convention in the world, you might want to grab a dictionary. Two U’s, one C, guys.

Grossest Product Name
Ew.
 

Least Helpful Diagram
This really clears up the mobile-communications system, if you’ve got an hour to stand around deciphering it.

Most Embarrassing Typo (Tie)
We think they’re supposed to say “WalletFlash” and “world’s slimmest,” but we prefer these funnier variations. Of course, we just had to go out and buy walletflesh.com - thanks for the free advertising, guys!

Most Awesome Universal Symbol Graphic
I, for one, am glad that CES has finally prohibited hitting babies in the head with your briefcase. It was fun while it lasted, but it was hell on their insurance rates.

Worst Signage
Don’t blow the whole marketing budget on one sign, guys.

Worst Comic Sans Abuse
WuR5t ph0Nt 3V4R!!1!

Clumsiest Correction
“What? There’s no ‘e’ in Blu-Ray? Hand me that gaffer’s tape.”

Worst Transportation
You can’t skate in a crowd, son. (photo by Littleredd)

Best “That’s What She Said” Slogan
Heh heh.

Laziest Booth Decor
We were really tempted to insert a photo of our own in this frame.

Most Disturbing Booth Decor
Mutilated hands? Dead trees? Do these little tchotchkes remind you of anything that isn’t depressing?
 

Most Uncomfortable Home Theater Seating
Just grab a backless, uncushioned cylinder and enjoy the show. Is this company getting kickbacks from a chiropractor or what?

Worst Fake Fireplace
About as homey as a hangar full of flourescent lights.
 

Stephen :: Jan.19.2007 :: Computer Related, Funny Stuff :: No Comments »

From GeeK.nL (Dilbert Archive)

Stephen :: Jan.17.2007 :: Funny Stuff :: No Comments »

Crazy Germans…

I got very interesting email in my in-box today. It was about a German study released in The New England Journal of Medicine about the physical benefits of men staring at women breasts.

I say with the utmost conviction that this article is, erm, unsupported.
This was kind of expected as I got to the, “Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well endowed female is roughly the equivalent to a thirty-minute aerobics workout.” If this fact were true, our nation would be simply crawling with Adonises instead of Homers. Furthermore, nowhere in The New England Journal of Medicine does a German study appear by author Karen Weatherby.

If only… Eh, fellas?

Thanks, Nathan!

Healthbolt » New Study: Men Wish Staring at Women’s Breasts Made Them Healthier

Stephen :: Jan.16.2007 :: Funny Stuff :: No Comments »

“Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art. “

–Tom Stoppard, “Artist Descending a Staircase”, British dramatist & screenwriter (1937 - )

Stephen :: Jan.15.2007 :: Funny Stuff :: No Comments »

I always thought the stereotype was women can’t drive.

Stephen :: Jan.12.2007 :: Funny Stuff :: No Comments »

No smartass comments about women drivers, capisce? It could just as easily have been a man at the wheel trying to squeeze 12 feet of car into 10 feet of parking space. While we do admire her determination, we question her depth perception, and her social graces. Perhaps it was a mild case of road rage that apparently leads her to take a swig of amaretto after several passes. We’ll probably never know. She still seems to do a better job than the Lexus self-parking system as tested by the guys at Automobile. All we can say is, poor Panda. The YouTube video is after the jump.

Thanks for tip, Adrian!

Original post [autoblog]

Stephen :: Jan.11.2007 :: Funny Stuff :: No Comments »

Bummer!

You hear it and figure it must be some kind of urban legend. A truck driver makes a wrong turn and ends up with a $17,000 ticket. Well, it’s actually not true. Truck driver William Carroll got lost in the suburbs around Philadelphia and when he got pulled over the ticket was actually for $17,751.50. Philadelphia’s NBC 10 looked into the story and found it to be totally legit, if not tragically sad.

Carroll says he was just following the directions he had gotten from one of the companies he leases his trucks from. He missed a weight limit sign that was leaning and partially obscured, and before he knew it he was stuck trying to turn his big rig around in a residential neighborhood. That’s where the police caught up to him and gave him the ticket. At first he thought it was a mistake, thinking maybe 17 hundred instead of 17 thousand dollars, but when the officer verified it, Carroll says he felt like he was hit by a Mack truck.

A PennDOT spokesman, Charlie Metzger, explained that the fines are so high because heavy trucks can do a lot of damage to certain bridges and roadways. So the fine breaks down thusly: "It’s $150 for the fine, and then it’s $150 for every 500 pounds over the 3,000-pound weight limit," Metzger said. He further rationalized the fine saying the money often needs to go right back into the road repairs. Remind us to never get lost driving a truck in Pennsylvania.

[Source: NBC 10 via Digg]

From Autoblog

Stephen :: Dec.29.2006 :: Funny Stuff :: No Comments »

Our English language often makes no sense, filled with double-meaning pitfalls and sound-alike quagmires. The fact that most of us master it makes us near-geniuses. If you’re feeling stupid today, improve your mental outlook by reading the points below and congratulating yourself on your language agility. That you can understand this mishmash makes you remarkable.

• We’re told that the English language reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
• We have noses that run and feet that smell.
• There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
• Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
• English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France.
• Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
• Writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham.
• The plural of tooth is teeth, but the plural of booth is not beeth.
• One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
• You can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
• A vegetarian eats vegetables, and a humanitarian eats . . .
• People recite at a play, but play at a recital.
• We ship by truck and send cargo by ship.
• A slim chance and a fat chance are the same, but a wise man and a wise guy are opposites.
• Your house can burn up as it burns down, you fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm goes off by going on.
• When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Original Source: Mental Giants

Stephen :: Dec.27.2006 :: Funny Stuff :: No Comments »

Why? Because laughing is good for you.

The top fifteen:

1. I find your lack of pants disturbing.
2. You are unwise to lower your pants.
3. The Force is strong in my pants.
4. Chewie and me got into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.
5. Your pants, you will not need them.
6. I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.
7. You came in those pants? You’re braver than I thought.
8. Governer Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader’s pants.
9. In his pants you will find a new definition of pain and suffering
10. I think you just can’t bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your pants.
11. Pull up! All pants pull up!
12. I sense the conflict within you. Let go of your pants!
13. I’ve just made a deal that will keep the Empire out of our pants forever.
14. Alderan is peaceful, we have no pants!
15. These aren’t the pants you’re looking for.

The other 217 are right here.

Healthbolt » 232 Star Wars Lines Improved by Substituting the Word “Pants”

Stephen :: Dec.20.2006 :: Funny Stuff :: No Comments »

We can imagine that almost everyone has been guilty of trying to balance their morning commute between a cellphone, traffic, and their favorite morning radio show. We know it’s even more dangerous to drive with one knee, both hands on your BlackBerry, while you send your boss a message saying you are going to be late for the morning meeting. A Seattle man knows exactly what we are talking about as he caused a four car pile-up that involved 28 passengers on I-5 while playing around with his ’berry while in the express lanes. Thankfully, no one was hurt — and let’s face it, the guy could’ve picked worse places to do this.

From Engadget Mobile

Stephen :: Dec.18.2006 :: Funny Stuff :: No Comments »